Existing In Opposites

The words hit me so hard,

so impossible, they can’t be true,

because I exist opposite of ‘should be’,

‘should know’, ‘should say’ or ‘do’.

If I take an umbrella with me,

I can count on sunny skies.

If I put on that new suede coat,

floodgates of rain are no surprise.

If I scrimp, suffer to save each penny,

the rainy day of need won’t arrive.

If I spend with wild abandon,

I’ll need ten cents to just stay alive.

If I bury my head for protection,

the airway would fill with dirt.

If I freely give of my affection,

no love will I find, just hurt.

If I refuse to care at all,

then the love pours out on me.

If I long to belong to another,

then single, this gal shall be.

If I push away their company,

they’ll fight and clamber to get in.

If I crave and need sympathy,

I’ll be granted a man of tin.

If I have all the time for sleeping,

you can bet I can’t fall sleep.

If I have somewhere I need to be,

these two eyes, open, I can not keep.

If you tell me that I can not,

then damned if I won’t do it.

If you tell me that I can,

I’ll struggle like hell to get to it.

The only thing I’m sure of is,

I’m not sure of one damn thing.

The things I fear the most are,

what my life will likely bring.

So the words that say, “you’re dying”,

can’t mean what you think they do.

For I’ve never done the expected,

so your words can not be true.

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Kathleen Hussey January 1, 2022